Mum’s The Word

Mum’s the word if a friend shares something confidential, don’t disclose her secret. No matter how juicy it is! Sometimes in the face of a friends deep pain, there e are no answers that will suffice. Holding a hand, hugging a shoulder, or shedding tears together may be better options. We all want to be better friends. And yet, sometimes the thing we want most of all is someone who can be a good friend to us. 

When we are hurting or struggling, there are certain friends we can count on as sources of great comfort. I’m talking about the friends who have seen you at your worst and at your best. The ones you can tell them anything( and just about have) with full confidence that even the most sordid confession will not cause them to waver in their love for you. They are  also the kind of friends that fall into the category of sincerely being none judgmental and none critical of your shortcomings. They are an example of a safe and loving friend you don’t want to confide in a friend who makes you feel worse after talking to them.

As a general rule, they don’t usually offer pat answers or microwave solutions. Instead, they encourage you, hold you accountable, give you passionate advice that you occasionally follow, and laugh and cry with you. Now you must understand that friends like this are hard to find. And yet it’s worth the effort to cultivate friendships like these. When the name of the game is pain, sometimes we just need someone to talk to. Yet how do you choose that person?

If you don’t have a history with friends you know you can trust, how do you decide with whom you can open up too? How can you be fairly confident that your friend to whom you are baring your very soul will not recoil in horror,  blush with embarrassment,  shake a shamming finger, or give dangerous advice in answers to you dilemma? If you have a friend who has never lets you past her façade of perfection, you might want to think twice before blurting out your deepest and darkest secrets over a cup of coffee at Starbucks.

If a friend is uncomfortable with her own imperfections and struggles, she probably won’t have a clue how to respond appropriately to yours. However is you have a friend who is mutually vulnerable, transparent ,uses good judgement and keeps your secrets to herself then you have a safe place to share your burdens. They are the kind of friend who goes through heartaches and joys, downfalls and triumphs , victories and failures, they’re always there to cheer to you on and cheer you up. You are so blessed to call them friend.